Getting Married - A Final Thought

So, I started writing this blog nearly a week ago...and decided to completely scrap the original idea.  Call it a change of heart, or just a change of mind, whatever you want.  It still dealt with the subject of marriage, but was more of a preachy "this is what you should do to have the best wedding possible in my opinion."  After actually experiencing it (which was absolutely amazing) and the preparations involved, I no longer feel quite so elitist.

We often hear of men (and women) getting cold feet on the day of their wedding, sometimes days or even weeks before.  Why?  Are they scared that maybe they picked the wrong person?  Are they scared of the notion that they can only be with one person for the rest of their lives?  Are they simply afraid that they can't handle the stress of the wedding or even married life?

Fact is, a wedding is a stressful event to plan.  Anyone that has been through it can tell you.  Even those able to afford to hire someone to manage every aspect of the wedding is bound to meet with stressful events of some form.  We tried taking the "small simple and intimate" route with ours, and it worked for the most part.  With a small ceremony we were spared the stress of managing multitudes of people (some of which we may not even know) and a bill for a large venue to seat and feed them all.  A short engagement of less than two months also allowed us to avoid the stress of people attempting to invite themselves and balloon our attendance far beyond what could be handled within the small venue we decided upon.

Looking back on it all, and how exhausted it left the both of us, I honestly cannot imagine what it would have been like to have a large wedding.  More people invited, more guests, more expenses, more food...

I am not so naive as to ignore that there are people who handle the stress of a wedding very well, perhaps even thrive on it.  Not including men and women that remove themselves from making decisions in handling the wedding beyond actually showing up at the altar, they don't count in this regard.  We both felt as if we were being pulled in every direction at once many times leading up to the big day.  Especially Jill, who took so much upon herself that I know the wedding wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did without her persistence.  I honestly don't know if I could have handled everything she did had I been in her shoes.  She's an amazing woman beyond what I could possibly imagine.

One of the most evident moments of stress this past weekend was Friday night at the rehearsal dinner.  Over 30 people were packed into my two-bedroom apartment, including family, friends, and children.  Normally I'm fine in crowds but for whatever reason this event brought the walls in closer and closer until I felt as if my head would pop like a firecracker!  To get away for a moment I took our dog Charlie for a walk...with my dad and my best man in tow.

At one point, concerned with how stressed and tired I was, my dad asked if I was nervous about the wedding...about getting married.  To be completely honest, no.  I wasn't nervous nor worried about it in any way.

Everything I know about Jill, I love.  Everything I don't know about her yet, I welcome with open arms.  I know for a fact that she is the person I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life, and the notion of "having cold feet" never once entered my mind.

Some guys that get scared at the thought of only being with one person for the rest of their lives.  You know what I say?  Good.  I'm glad I won't be with anyone else because I don't want to be.

I remember walking back to the apartment, letting the thoughts of "forever" roll over in my head.  I remember how tired I was that day and the next (and the next and the next), and one final thought to encompass it all comes to mind:

Will there be stressful days?  Yes.  Will there be misunderstandings and fights?  Yes.  Will there be hurt feelings and sadness when something unexpected or tragic happens in our lives?  Yes.  Will there be temptations and evil around trying to destroy what we have?  Yes.

Will we have to go through any of that alone?  No.  Never again.  And that's worth taking on all the stress in the world.