Where Does My Mind Lay?

Lately I've been dedicating the vast majority of my creative attention to doing vlogs on YouTube. As a result, I have neglected my blogs and even my stories that I am a long way off from finishing.

My plans are to start doing more than just vlogs and move on to creating funny skits, how-to videos for cooking gluten & dairy free treats, and much more. There is so much I want to do, but I often lack a vital ingredient to accomplishing these things:

Focus.

At work, I find myself daydreaming of the creative things I'd love to work on. At home, when I think about working on writing or recording something, I find myself goofing off or getting stuck in front of the television. When I feel like working out, I'm conflicted because it's also time I could spend doing something with Jill, or writing, or playing with Charlie, or even playing a video game like I've done rarely these days.

I wish for more time to do things, but the reality of the situation is that if I were able to focus, I wouldn't need more time. For instance, I'm writing this at 1:15 CST when the idea popped in my head in between movies with Jill, Corrie, and Aaron.

This post originally started out as somewhat of a complaint about my lack of focus, but really it's more of a revelation for me. I'm not complaining, I'm just putting it out there. If I want to get things accomplished, I have to do them and not make excuses.

I want to write because I have stories to share.

I want to make vlogs because it gives me a chance to share my weirdness with the world.

I want to make videos because I want to take my ideas to another level.

I want to have a job someday that doesn't have me sitting on my butt all day staring at a computer screen. I do enough of that in my spare time.

I want to re-learn guitar because it's fun, and I don't care about being "good" at it.

I want to be quick and direct like my wife, because she's one of the strongest people I know.

I want to show myself that time is what I make of it.

And so much more.